Not The Anniversary They Expected
by Azkadellio
Summary: Humorous one-shot influenced by LushColtrane. On their one year anniversary of dating, Jade cooks Tori a simple dinner and the two decide to enjoy each other's company after. That is, until something neither liked happened. M for language and slight smut. Thanks to LushColtrane for the idea.


**New one-shot influenced by LushColtrane's **_**'Fartin' Around'**_**. And thanks to LushColtrane for helping me plan this, in a way, with our PM's.**

**Like his, this involves one half of Jori 'letting one rip'. The difference, other than who passes gas, is where and how this takes place.**

**Hope it's humorous.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**'VicTORious'**_** or the characters. The idea is based from LushColtranes's one-shot mentioned above.**

**No POV**

"How'd you like your dinner?" Jade asks as she and Tori put their plates in the sink to sit in the tub of warm, soapy water so the food doesn't stick.

"It was amazing." Tori says, hugging her girlfriend of one year from behind, the scent of the fresh cut salad with carrots and homemade garlic toast Jade made for their anniversary still in the air due to the remaining salad and garlic toast still on the counter. "Now I feel fat." She says with a knowing smile, knowing Jade's response.

"Then I guess we should thin you out again. Can't have an elephant as a girlfriend." Jade says, turning around in Tori's arms and pulling her close, whispering her joke into Tori's left ear.

"Call me an elephant again, and I'm telling Cat you have bibble in your bag." Tori says, releasing Jade and walking away, hiding her smirk.

"She won't believe me." Jade says, strutting up to Tori, pulling her close. "She knows I won't feed her bibble addiction." She says, biting the base of Tori's neck, causing that tanned girl to moan.

"Fine. I'll tell Trina you want her to audition for your next play." Tori says, worming her way out of Jade's grasp.

"That's evil, Vega." Jade deadpans, glaring at her girlfriend.

"Then don't insult my weight again." Tori says, smiling innocently at Jade.

"Want to go to your room and fuck or not?" Jade asks, not caring anymore.

"Fine." Tori says with a sigh. "I guess." She says, walking lazily to the steps.

"Be more energetic and I'll let you use the strap on for once." Jade says, knowing Tori's need to top Jade will trump her need to mess with Jade.

"Move it." Tori says, grabbing Jade's wrist and dragging her upstairs.

Pushing Jade onto her bed and slamming, and locking for safety, her door behind her, Tori wastes no time in removing her clothes, grabbing Jade's shirt and tugging on it once nude when Jade makes no move to strip herself.

"Take your clothes off, or I'm telling Rex you fantasize about him." Tori warns, pulling on the shirt.

"When did you become so mean?" Jade jokingly asks as she does as Tori says.

"I've been dating you for a year." Tori says, pulling Jade's skirt off.

"True. Now, how we starting this?" Jade asks, removing her shirt and bra, leaving her skirt, thong, boots, and socks for Tori, knowing Tori's eagerness to see Jade in nothing but her birthday suit, again, will get them gone quicker than if she did it herself.

"On your back. I know how much you love scissors. And scissoring." Tori says, pushing Jade onto her back and spreading her legs.

"Ooh, very nice." Jade says as Tori lines their mounds up, moaning when Tori thrusts her hips forward, their clits touching.

"Fuck, I love your pussy." Tori moans, her hands pushing and pulling Jade's hips against hers. "Oh, fuck you're so moist." She adds after a moan, smirking when Jade glares at her.

"I hate that word." Jade says through a moan.

"But you love me." Tori says, thrusting their hips together, leaning down to take one of Jade's pale pink nipples in her mouth, looking at Jade over the Goth's pale breast.

"Goddamnit I do." Jade moans, leaning her head back. "Say it again, and I lock you in Trina's room for her morning vocal exercises." She threats with a moan, her hips jerking against Tori's.

As the two thrust against each other, pleasuring their lover, a silent, almost inaudible, squeak is heard by Tori. "What was that?" She asks, stopping and looking around, expecting to see a mouse or something.

"Nothing." Jade says quickly, a blush on her cheeks.

"You're lying." Tori accuses, pulling away from Jade. "What squeaked? Did you take a pic of me or something?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest, hiding her breasts from Jade.

"What? No. Why would I do that when I still have all the pics you sent me when we started dating of you in all those sexy clothing and nude?" Jade asks, sitting up.

"Then what squeaked? And why are you lying about it?" Tori asks, staring at the Goth.

"I don't know. Probably your bed. Now shut up and let's make each other cum." Jade says, grabbing Tori's arms and pulling her down, spreading her legs so Tori's are trapped between them.

"Fine. But only because I hate when we don't get off." Tori says, starting to grind against Jade's hips, letting the issue drop.

"Ooh, that's good." Jade moans as Tori resumes suckling her breasts as her other breast gets squeezed and pinched by Tori's hand.

"Okay, that came from you." Tori says, sitting up and removing herself from Jade, when another squeak is heard, this one sounding less like a squeak and more like the sound air makes when escaping a balloon.

"What do you mean?" Jade asks, eyes wide.

"Oh, my God. Did you fart when we were about to have sex?" Tori asks, climbing off her bed and grabbing her robe, covering herself.

"It's your fault." Jade says, pointing a finger at Tori, not caring that her nude body is plain to see.

"How is it my fault? You made dinner." Tori says, tying the sash, and grabbing a can of air freshener.

"Well, they were bad. And what are you spraying that for? There's no smell." Jade says, irritated at how Tori's acting.

"They were bought from that farmer's market you recommended around lunch time." Tori accuses, spraying the area around Jade before grabbing the bottle of fabric freshener she keeps for when Trina tries on her clothes and tosses the 'failure's on her floor.

"So?" Jade tries, and fails, to defend herself. "You must've bought the ones that were borderline bad." She says, slapping Tori's hand away when Tori goes to spray the blanket where Jade was laying.

"My parents bought them for us and put them away, where you're supposed to to keep them fresh for a few days, while we were at school. You know, the cop that refuses to buy anything less than a week fresh, and the lawyer who knows fruits and vegetables and how to maintain them better than you and scissors?" Tori says, putting the fabric freshener aside.

"What are you trying to say?" Jade asks, ignoring Tori's point.

"You farted. On my bed. While we were getting each other off." Tori says, crossing her arms. "And I'd like to see you explain to my parents how the fresh fruit and vegetables they bought and put away not seven hours ago caused it." She says, a slow smirk growing on her face.

"Okay. Fine. It was that stupid sandwich from the Grub Truck. I know Festus shouldn't keep food the day after he made it." Jade says, looking away. "For what it's worth, I think we're good now. Nothing escaped since the last one." She says with a blush, looking down.

"If it happens again, I'm sending Cat the pic of you dressed as the human version of Rainbow Dash from 'My Little Pony: Equestria Girls' from that weird role play you wanted to do last week." Tori says, removing the robe and cautiously making her way to Jade.

A few minutes later, all seems good. That is, until as Tori's putting on the strap on, a seven inch long, one and a half inch thick black strap on, that the half-Latina stops and stares at her girlfriend, who is on her hands and knees for the classic position.

"Damnit Jade!" Tori yells, undoing the harness and letting it drop, after Jade lets out another soft squeak.

"Blame Festus!" Jade yells out as Tori heads to her en suite bathroom.

**That's it for this. Hope it was more funny and less disturbing that I think it was.**

**Again, thanks to LushColtrane for writing your one-shot and for the idea, though you didn't give it to me, I thought of it during our PMs, and you didn't have a problem with me writing this after yours.**

**Thank you for reading, and please review.**

**Blessed Be.**


End file.
